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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858763">Consume Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofDarkness15/pseuds/PrinceofDarkness15'>PrinceofDarkness15</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Ben Solo Is An Idiot, Childhood Friends, Comfort Sex, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Ben Solo, Love Confessions, Protective Ben Solo, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:08:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858763</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofDarkness15/pseuds/PrinceofDarkness15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> "So, this is it?"</p><p> "I guess so."</p><p>Rey looked down at her half-packed suitcase and felt her stomach twisting in tight knots. The call had come as quite a shock, but, one she would have willingly agreed to. Leia had been like a second mother to her and her untimely passing shook her to her core. She<em> had</em> to go. </p><p> "Chandrila is going to seem <em>so-</em>---different, you know?" Rey murmured as she nearly folded a black lace dress into the suitcase. "I haven't been back since I graduated from high school."</p><p> "Maybe it's what you need, though," said Rose softly, brushing her long silky black hair behind her ears. "Poe has been pressuring you about this wedding, not to mention you have been swamped at work these past few weeks."</p><p> "Yeah," Rey chuckled nervously. "You're right, he has and you’re also right about work too. I’m mentally exhausted.”</p><p> "Then take this as a sort of mini-vacation, okay?"</p><p> "Attending a funeral isn't exactly what <em>I</em> would call a mini-vacation, Rose." Rey explains, a single tear slowly falling down the side of her cheek now. </p><p>When Han explained over the phone how the cancer had spread to Leia's lungs as well as every organ in her body, it took every ounce of strength that Rey had not to collapse. She knew that Leia had been sick for quite some time---but <em>cancer.</em> It had been the very <em>last</em> thing Rey suspected. Her thoughts immediately strayed off to Ben. He was probably not taking this news very well at all seeing as he was very close to his mother.</p><p> "Isn't your old friend Ben coming to the funeral?" Rose asked, her brows lifted with curiosity.</p><p>Rey shrugged and replied, "I suspect he is. Han never really said anything about him attending when he told me the news over the phone. They---" Rey paused as she tried to think of the appropriate word to describe Ben's relationship with his father. "---their relationship is a bit strained."</p><p> "Oh really? How come?"</p><p>Rey wanted to say that it had been that way for as long as she could remember, but, one memory from her childhood stuck out the most. When Ben was about twelve years of age, he had got gotten into some hefty trouble with some of the boys in the neighborhood, though she didn't know the full extent of those details, but, it had been enough to put a quite a bit of a ugly strife between Ben and his father. Neither one of the really spoke about it---at <em>least</em> to Rey's knowledge.</p><p> "Ben got into some trouble when he was a kid," Rey replied as Rose then handed her, her black pumps. "And I <em>know</em> better than to ask."</p><p> "Oh." said Rose in a hesitant tone.</p><p>The door behind him then opened and in walked Poe and from the irritated look on his face, he had not had a good day at the office. When he saw Rose and Rey sitting in the living room, he scoffed and immediately went straight into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of bourbon from the overhead cabinets and began pouring himself a rather large glass.</p><p> "He's <em>drinking</em> again?" Rose murmured, turning to Rey in a panicked tone.</p><p> "Ever since that big merge with his rival company went horribly wrong last week, he's been in such a sour mood," Rey told her in a low voice. "And the drinking part is just the tip of the iceberg. He lashed out at me yesterday for telling him that I was heading back to Chandrila to attend Leia's funeral."</p><p> "Ugh, what an <em>asshole</em>." Rose whispered.</p><p>To be honest, Rey was kind of looking forward to a little separation from her fiancé. Time apart could be good for their relationship and for her to truly decide if marriage is what she<em> wanted</em> right now. Plus, it would be nice to see Ben again after all these years, but, as she finished packing she was reminded of a past she had long since tried to forget. Ben might have been her best friend but they had shared many other things too. A first kiss, a hand touch----and so many other things that Rey hadn't told Poe in full details.</p><p>Ideally, it was Rey who decided to leave not only her hometown but her past fling with Ben as well. He might not be so happy to see her when she showed up at his mother's funeral and that made the little knots in her stomach tighten even more.</p><p><em>I hope he can forgive me for all my past mistakes. I was such a lost person back then, </em>Rey thought to herself as she lay in bed next to Poe later that night. It would be the first time six years she wished that a different man was lying here in the bed next to her. She hadn't forgotten about Ben and she had never meant to hurt him the way that she did.</p><p>In many ways, she <em>still</em> loved him and wished she hadn't up and left like she did, but as she gazed tearfully at the glinting diamond ring on her finger, her hopes of resolving anything between them was quickly dashed. She was marrying Poe in six months and no measure of time could bring back the stolen summer that she shared with Ben all those years ago.</p><hr/><p>Chandrila was a small town just outside Indiana with a population of only just shy of 700. Every kid that grew up here had one ambition: to get out. Rey Kenobi and Benjamin Solo were no exception. As kids they made a pack that once they had graduated, they would leave this little dinky town---together. Of course, Ben had other things tied up with that pack. In fact, he had a whole check-off list. </p><p>Graduate, college, and then marry Rey and have a whole army of kids and grow old together. It seemed silly for a six year old to have all those things in line for his future, but, the second he became friends with Rey in kindergarten, that was solely the life he <em>wanted</em> and he wanted it <em>all</em> with her. So you can only imagine how utterly confused, shocked and heartbroken he was when he learned that Rey was leaving Chandrila----<em>without</em> him. Never had he felt so oddly left out and abandoned. </p><p>All this time he had dreamed of starting a life with her, but it seemed that she had other plans set in stone. What had happened? What was the sudden change? Even now, sitting on the edge of his bed in his small apartment in New York with a half-naked woman he had met the previous night at a bar sleeping his bed, he bit back his frustrations and swallowed his pride.</p><p>We were supposed to do this together, Rey. You. Me. We promised each other...remember? It was going to be just the two of us against the world. Just us.  </p><p> "Fuck it." he murmured angrily to himself as he strode into the bathroom. Staring at his complexion in the mirror, he saw the broken young man he had become. </p><p>Han had called him unexpectedly and told him the news of his mother's passing and it hit him like a ton of bricks. It's too late. She's<em> gone. </em>Just like Rey. <em>Everyone always leaves</em>, he told himself as he reached for the faucet, splashing cold water on his face. <em>Always. </em></p><p> "Good morning, handsome."</p><p>Turning, he saw the busty redhead he had brought home with him last night from the bar leaning against the doorframe, wearing a sleazy seductive grin on her beautiful face. Ben didn't do relationships. Not anymore. Not after the way Rey had left him. He didn't need that kind of complication in his life. He didn't <em>want</em> it. </p><p> "Hi." </p><p> "Mind if I take a quick dip in your tub before I head out?" She asks him, pulling at the robe around her waist and letting it slide off her shoulders and fall carelessly to the floor. If she was hoping one last quick round before leaving, he would have to dash her hopes---he <em>wasn't</em> in the mood.</p><p> "Knock yourself out, hon." Ben grunted before shoving past her and out into the bedroom.</p><p> "You mean to tell me that you're not going to join me?"</p><p> "I have a flight to catch in a few hours, so you'll just have to forgive me for that, doll." Ben called out to her from the bedroom. </p><p>Her disappointed facial expression and high-hopes at the thought of not getting thoroughly fucked in the shower only pleased Ben further. He had gotten what he wanted from her last night and now---he was<em> done</em> with her.</p><p>Besides, he had other important matters to think about at the moment and no measure of hot casual sex could atone for it. The plan was to attend the funeral, say a few words at the graveside, mingle with family and friends for as long as he could stand it and then grab the next flight back to New York and be done with this sappy sad story.</p><p>If he could avoid seeing Rey at all possible, for he was sure that Han had told her due to her closeness to Leia when they were kids, he would.</p><p>However, there was a slight curiosity that lingered in the back of his mind as he began packing a single carry-on bag: how was she? was she okay? does she even miss me? Six years was a long time and he wondered how much time had changed things. Would she still be the same person he remembered all those years ago? Or would she have changed? After all, Los Angeles was a lot like New York City, a land of opportunity. Had her dream of becoming an famous actress come true? Was she lighting up the silver screens the same way that she had lit up his life?</p><p>Did she make it? He hoped she got <em>everything</em> she wanted out of her life. He hoped she was happy, successful and deliriously in love with someone who could treat her right and who was good to her as he once had been. </p><p>Shaking his head, he pushed his thoughts of Rey and their past relationship into the back of his mind. He had a lengthy eulogy to write, a suit to pack and a lot of anger, resentment and hurt to get through in a five hour flight. Needless to say, this was one trip home he was certainly <em>not</em> looking forward to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leia's funeral was beautiful and many heart-felt words were said by both friends and family alike, but Han had said it best, her final moments were not filled with pain nor fear, but with peace and purpose. She had lived a long happy fulfilled life and that her passing should not be met with dispair, but rather with joy.</p><p> "And now....." Pastor Skywalker said in a soft voice as he stood before his community. "...my sister's son, Benjamin, would like to come up and say a few words? Ben?"</p><p>Rey's heart skipped a beat. She watched with baited breath as Ben slowly made his way up to the front, pulling out a folded piece of paper from the breast-pocket of his rather sharp looking suit and placed it down on the podium. Clearing his throat, he began to read aloud about the woman who not only gave him life, but for the mother he was so close to and who he unexpectedly lost far too soon. It hurt just to hear him speak so passionately about the bond that he shared with Leia and the struggles of being away from her during her final hours. </p><p> "....my mother wouldn't want me or anyone in this room to mourn her loss, but rather to celebrate the person that she was, the person that<em> I</em> knew her to be. <em>My</em> mom. A friend. Someone who valued morals, the importance of family. She touched all of us in some way, whether she had known you for a split second or for the majority of her life. She had a way of connecting to people in a way that I could never fully understand...…"</p><p>That's when Rey noticed Ben's dark eyes flash across the room, stopping direct <em>at</em> her. A surge of familiar electricity seemed to spark and ignite between them and for the briefest moment, it just the two of them in the room. It was a feeling that both thought had disappeared<em> forever</em>. Smiling, Rey nodded in his direction to let him know that she was proud of him.</p><p> ".....not only that...." said Ben, continuing with his speech, his eyes never leaving Rey's as he did so. "....her connection to people had a major influence on my life, as well. Growing up, I struggled with sustaining friendships, being around the right group of people, but, then one day, all of that changed with a certain person. She helped me see, to understand, that I didn't have to be that person anymore, that I could change, have a good life---<em>-and</em> then she died. Now, I'm finding myself starting all over again without her and I begin to wonder if I have the strength to overcome the hurdles in my life, to be the son that <em>I</em> know she would want me to be. I guess the thing we all need to take from this is life is short, make it count, make the most of the time given to you and never take it for granted because you just never know...…"</p><p>After a closing prayer, the church began filing up outside to prepare for the drive to the gravesite. As Rey quickly shook hands with both Han and Ben's uncle, Luke she wasted no time to making her way over towards Ben who was marching across the parking lot towards his rented vehicle.</p><p> "Hey there, stranger." </p><p>Pausing at the sound of her voice, Ben slowly turned around and felt his whole body go completely numb at the sight of her standing before him. She was still just as beautiful as he remembered her, if not even more. A twinge of longing was etched across his face and for a second he felt like pulling her into his arms and rekindling their long forgotten romance, but, the thought instantly vanished when he saw something glittering on her left hand. <em>She's engaged.</em></p><p> "Hi, Rey." he spoke, his voice rather hoarse. "Nice to see you."</p><p> "You're speech was lovely, Ben." said Rey as she slowly approached him.</p><p> "Thanks," Ben says, swallowing the hard lump in his throat. He paused briefly just to drink all of her in before adding in a low voice, "Took the entire flight here just to get it all down. I wasn't planning on speaking at all, but.....<em>dad</em> insisted on it."</p><p> "I'm really glad that you did, Ben." Rey smiled warmly. "Leia would've <em>loved</em> it. I know she would."</p><p><em>Leia would've loved it. I know she would.</em> The words pained him, tore right through his core like a jagged knife. Rey knew just how close Ben was to his mother and the fact that she knew, both hurt and angered him. </p><p> "So, how's L.A treating you?" </p><p>That's a rather harmless question to ask her, right? Probably better than asking about that diamond ring, anyways. Whatever story that holds, Ben was sure it didn't need to involve him or did it? A part of him wanted to lash out at her for even coming here, to take out all of his rage for her even being apart of this, and yet the other half was happy to see her. Six years had been far too long and so much seemed to have been left unsaid between them.</p><p>
  <em>No, don't get involved, Ben. She left you. It's over between the two of you!</em>
</p><p> "It's....fine, I guess." Rey answers, shrugging. However, things were far from fine. She was miserable there and struggling to come to terms with her current relationship. Poe was so confusing. One minute he was hot, the next he was cold. And it was mentally and physically draining. "To be honest, I'm kind of glad that I'm not there at the moment." </p><p> "Does it have anything to do with that?" Ben asked now pointing to the ring on her hand. </p><p>Rey then glanced down at the ring and immediately covered her hand, wishing that she had taken the stupid thing off or perhaps even chucked it out the window on the drive here from the hotel. <em>I knew I shouldn't have worn this stupid thing here!</em> Slowly, she looked up at Ben and saw that his facial expression was more or less emotionless. Just depleted of <em>all f</em>eeling. Empty.</p><p>Shaking her head, Rey murmured, "<em>That</em> is something I am still trying to figure out, actually."</p><p> "What's there to figure out, Rey? Your either marrying the guy or your not." said Ben, unbuttoning his collar and pulling at his black tie. </p><p> "It's a little more complicated than that, Ben." said Rey in a soft voice.</p><p>She would tell by the tone of his voice, he was irritated and holding himself back from saying what he really wanted to say to her and she couldn't blame him for being angry with her. She had hurt him.....tremendously and she would have to deal with the consequences of those actions. He nodded, not wishing to argue on the subject any further. He knew deep down she was never good at making decisions, but, he'd never tell her that. </p><p> "You heading to the gravesite?" He finally asked her a few seconds later.</p><p> "I think I'm just going to head back to the hotel, actually," she replied, pushing her loose hair behind her ears. She wanted to tell him how handsome he looked, how good he seemed, how much she missed him but the way he was talking gave her the impression that he didn't care. Not in the slightest. "What about you?"</p><p> "Probably going to hit the nearest bar outside of town and drink a few beers before heading back to New York," said Ben, shrugging his shoulders. "Nothing left in this town for me to stick around for."</p><p> "Do you mind if I come with you?" Rey asked him. </p><p> "Sure." He answered with a low sigh. "I guess we could play a little "catch-up" for an hour or two."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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